how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
