Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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