either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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