around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
