Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize