Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
