Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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