I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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