I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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