he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize