Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
