Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
