i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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