I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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