she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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