And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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