Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize