Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
