talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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