Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Umm I'm too high to move.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
