Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
