when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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