i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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