In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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