At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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