What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
honey bunches of taint.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
