the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
