Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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