If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
