hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
