But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
