I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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