You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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