I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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