It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize