We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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