BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
