I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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