I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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