We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
