I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
