She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
