Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
