I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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