just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
