please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
