My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Will exercising make me less horny?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
