Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
