What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
