If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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