Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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