I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
