you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Blood and glitter go together right?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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