took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
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