she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize