if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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