You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
