Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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