you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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