I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
