She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She even gives head with a lisp.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
