What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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